Overheard in the Driver’s Seat

by Jill Bender on November 28, 2010

Since Jonesie spent Thanksgiving with his dad, I called yesterday to find out what time I could pick him up.  Jonesie answered and asked if T-Bone (his dad’s gf’s son who is 6 months older than Jonesie) could come over for the day.   My response was “absolutely.”

Some people think it’s really weird that I would let my ex-husband’s girlfriend’s son come over, but I have an awesome relationship with Jonsie’s dad AND his girlfriend.  We do birthday parties together, we put them on the same baseball teams…

Anyway, I picked the boys up yesterday and as we are driving away from dad’s house I hear the following conversations from these 7-year old boys…

T-Bone says ”dude look at that jetstream, it goes on forever.”  Jonesie says “I’ve been in an airplane that goes, like, 500 miles per hour.”

T-Bone says “dude, look at those hills we could totally ride those.”  Jonesie says “yeah, but I would totally want to ride the Kawasaki because it has much better suspension than the Yamaha.”  T-Bone says “yeah and it definitely has more power too.”  (The boys are talking dirt bikes.  They live, eat, sleep and dream in dirt bikes.)  Jonesie says “dude, I can’t wait til that Kawasaki is mine.”  I asked him if he was getting a new dirt bike and the rest of the conversation went like this… Jonesie “yeah, we got rid of mine yesterday and T-Bone is getting a new one so I get to have his Kawasaki.  He is getting a 110 which is just a little bigger than an 80.”

T-Bone says “do you wanna play basketball when we get to your house?”  Jonesie says “sure, but I really wanna play you in badminton too.”

Jonesie says “and we have to play the Wii too.”  T-Bone says “yeah cause I could totally smoke you at Tanks.  I am sooo good at that game.”

Three things I KNOW after the 30 minute drive home: 1. Those boys say “dude” at the beginning of every sentence.  2. “totally” and “like” are at a close second and 3. Divorce doesn’t have to be shitty.

TBone and Jonesie 300x200

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{ 12 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Taylor November 28, 2010 at

I love that everyone gets along so well, that is so healthy for your kids! My life would be a lot easier if my parents were civil. Although my dad is hardly civil to me let alone my mother. Anyway, you go girl!

Taylor
http://www.maryjanesandgaloshes.com

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2 Jill November 29, 2010 at

Ack, your comment got lost in the spam filter. Thank you ma’am.

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3 Mary November 28, 2010 at

If only all divorced people could have your sense of mercy and acceptance. Reading this made me tear up at how you are putting your son’s needs before your own. Glad to follow you.

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4 Jill November 28, 2010 at

Thank you so much Mary! My boys’ happiness is and always will be the most important thing to me.

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5 Galit Breen November 28, 2010 at

i’m in love with your post and seriously in love with what you stand for. b/c a family is a family is a family. & *dude,* those are *like* some *totally* lucky boys! :)

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6 Jill November 29, 2010 at

:) Thank you for the love. You are so right, a family is a family is a family.

It is definitely too bad I don’t have the same type of relationship with my older boys’ dad. I did, however, let their oldest daughter come to my house every single day after school for a year and watched two of their kids and fed them while he had emergency surgery.

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7 City Mom November 29, 2010 at

Wow! I love this post so much. What a fantastic story for divorced parents and for the children who are a part of that. You and your ex, and his new GF should all be really proud of yourselves!

I do not come from a divorced family, nor am I divorced (yet…lol) but I would like to think I could model this behaviour!

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8 Jill November 29, 2010 at

Well, I certainly hope that you don’t have to go there, it definitely isn’t the preferred method of making things work. In truth, anyone can make it work if both parties are willing to work together.

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9 Deana November 29, 2010 at

Glad to see someone getting along in this world. when kids are involved it should be like this. Its not their fault that mom and dad can’t live or want to love each other. I have been married since I was 18 yrs old and we never discuss a problem between us in front of the kids. We might disagree in front of them but never name calling. I wished my parents when they got divorced could have acted this way. I cheer you and your ex spouse and his girlfriend for doing this and understanding its good for the kids.

May God bless you in more ways than one.
Take care
Deana

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10 Jill November 29, 2010 at

Thank you Deana for your kind words and your many blessings. Your words mean the world to me, truly!

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11 Soccer Mom November 29, 2010 at

I have this exact same relationship with my ex…people think it’s weird but it works for us. I think your kid will be the one who gets the biggest benefit from this! Congrats on putting your kid first!!

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12 Jill November 29, 2010 at

Thanks soccer mom! That is so awesome, isn’t it such a great feeling?! I certainly know the discomfort of an ugly divorce too and being able to be friends is an incredible feeling. Especially after reading everyone’s comments here. Congrats to you too! I hope more people can look to those of us who do make it work and see that it IS beneficial for the kids.

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