Last time we did this type of contest – 5 years ago – I came in second place and did an awesome job of getting myself into shape and back into my size 4.
All that said, I have A LOT more work to do this time around and I really, really should win this one. There is no excuse.
I have been going downhill for over a year, I stopped going to the gym, I just turned to food, I’ve been crazy at work, the blog is growing, the kids have their sports, I have become stressed out and depressed… I have every excuse in the world. I weigh more now than I have ever weighed even while pregnant. I have 35 pounds to lose. There is no excuse for that.
The fact of the matter is that I have just made bad choices for far too long. I’ve tried to “go on a diet”, or pick up the newest fad thing, I walked for 2 weeks and then would stop. I would eat too much at one meal and I would snack on junk food in between. Bad choices.
But I’ve totally committed to working this 8 week contest. I can do this. I have a plan. I’m looking to lose 2 pounds per week, I’m going to stick to 1,200 calories per day, and I am going to hit the gym or do cardio five days per week.
We all know that I’m a cook, I bake. We eat at home 6 out of 7 days. I cook. We usually eat from scratch. The muffins, the cakes, the pies, the tacos, the taquitos... I do it for my family, and the blog. And I will still do them, and I will still eat them. I will eat one, not half! I will just have to be strong, and that is where YOU come in.
I plan to put it on paper because I need your help, I need you to keep me motivated, and to see the end goal. Like, for me, I see the 116 pound body that I had five years ago. Yes, it will take me more than 8 weeks to get there at 2 pounds per week, but… I want to be thin. I want my life back. I don’t want to hide in baggy clothes, long sleeves, and long pants. I have great legs and they need to be shown. I want to go out in public and have fun, I used to love to go out dancing, and I miss that. So I am hoping that you all will stick with me during my weight loss writings. Some of which may be happy, some mad, some funny, some very, very real. I got nothing to hide, I’m ready to be me.
Be sure to follow me on facebook because I also share “moments” there too. Yesterday I shared a tidbit of a moment that I will expand on now.
Soooo yesterday I woke up feeling great. I wanted to hit it. To get outside and start this thing. I didn’t want to run because my body is a little too creaky for that just yet. I just didn’t want to walk so I decided to ride my bike. My son helped me get my bike tires filled (because it has not been touched for four years) and seat just right I headed off.
Knowing my neighborhood is hilly, mostly it’s downhill from here so it’s uphill on the way back. Ugh. I carefully plotted my route so that I would be able to handle the ride.
Whew, I was feeling good. And in just ten minutes I had ridden quite a long way so I went a little farther out. Why not? Feeling GOOOOOD! The wind in my face, the sun shining bright, thighs were screaming, sweat running down my back. IT FELT GOOD!! Really good.
And on my way back I was headed uphill. Ooh, my thighs burned, and it felt good. So I pushed on, went farther, pushed harder telling myself “you got this. Go. Push harder.” (People I haven’t done any kind of activity in a year.) And then I stopped part way up one hill to take what I thought was a breather.
But then I got dizzy, and I could no longer stand so I let my bike down to the ground and kind of fell into the fence lining the street. I blacked out as I slumped down to the ground. I was sweaty, shaky, and felt like I needed to throw up. I turned my head to gag and when I looked up 3 teenagers were walking directly toward me. “Suck it up” I told myself. They passed, and I threw up. Phew. Sat back and then threw up again. I threw up three times. And then I sat there next to my bike on the side of the road.
Totally defeated by my own body. I tried to text the boys to come get me because I thought I was going to die on the side of the road. How embarrassing is that? But I was too weak to hold the phone enough to get a text out. So I sat. On the side of the road. With my head down, trying not to make eye contact with passerby’s. Didn’t they see I was DYING!?!?
On one hand being pissed that no one was stopping to help this dying person on the roadside. On the other hand it occurred to me that if they stopped they would know of my pathetic ways so I concocted a story for when they asked if I was ok. “Oh yeah, I’m good, I just twisted my ankle coming up this curb and my son is on his way, but thanks.” Thanks for acknowledging me in a most humiliating moment in my life. Thanks.
My son picked me up and drove me home. He lifted the bike out of his car and I walked the walk of shame up my driveway.
I’ve told this story to a few friends and I can laugh about it now while visualizing my broken body throwing up on the side of a road, sigh. But yesterday I was dying
That didn’t stop me though. When I got up today my son asked if I was going for a bike ride today. I thought he was mocking me, because it’s become a joke now how just riding my bike made me throw up. Ha ha. But when I shot back that of course I was going he said he would go with me because I shouldn’t go alone. Okay, mock on.
So we enjoyed a really nice long, and hilly bike ride with several breaks along the way.
I can laugh about it now. But I promise that I am going to kick this thing in the ass. And one day I’ll be running again and it will be really funny “that one day when I passed out and threw up riding my bike and concocted crazy stories to cover up the truth”.
I can promise you one thing, if you follow me through this journey you will get 100% real. You will get happy. Angry. Screw this. Celebration. And support. If you are going through anything similar, please feel free to share your thoughts here too.
By the way, that whole throw up thing, I have learned from a personal trainer, was lactic acidosis. It was real. It has a name even.
I got this! High five yo!