ALL politics aside, this post has been simmering inside of me for a while, and with the recent battle of words between Hillary Rosen and Ann Romney it has boiled over.
Taking politics out of the equation. Here is the story background…
“What you have is Mitt Romney running around the country, saying, ‘Well, you know, my wife [Ann Romney] tells me that what women really care about are economic issues, and when I listen to my wife, that’s what I’m hearing.’ Guess what? His wife has actually never worked a day in her life,” Rosen said.
“She’s never really dealt with the kinds of economic issues that a majority of the women in this country are facing, in terms of how do we feed our kids, how do we send them to school, and why do we worry about their future.” Rosen continued.
Ann took to twitter and responded with this tweet…
“I made a choice to stay home and raise five boys. Believe me, it was hard work.”
Begin the shitstorm. Working moms vs. stay at home moms.
Begin MY boiling over.
Because this isn’t about who works and who doesn’t, who works harder and who doesn’t. It is about the haves and the have-nots.
Being a mom is not the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. Dropping my kid off at school with a low-grade fever, a stuffy nose and sore throat is. Why the hell would any mother do that? Because I am a single working mom.
Feeding three kids breakfast, doing laundry, loading the dishwasher, and dropping them off at three different schools by 7 am comes in a close second. Driving to work 22 miles away from my house to work from 8-5 while my kids go from daycare to school back to daycare, while the laundry I threw in the washer begins to grow ‘things’, the electricity bill, the mortgage bill, the medial bills get dropped into my mailbox, the 80mph winds start tearing the tiles off of the roof and the worry of whether the insurance company will cover it *this time* and how I will ever come up with the $500 deductible, the dust goes to work and builds around the house, my son’s toe peeks through is shoe while playing soccer at recess, arrangements for a ride for my middle son to get home from basketball practice because his dad refuses to help are being made, an $850 bill to send my three kids to public school arrives in my email and then driving the 22 miles back to pick the kids all up by 6pm, meanwhile the tread on my car tires wears from driving 44 miles to/from work everyday comes in third. Wondering if child support was paid this month comes in somewhere between fourth and tenth. Wondering if gas has hit the “high” it is predicted to hit within the next few days. Praying to God that my kid doesn’t get sick because I don’t have $20 in my account to pay for a doctor’s visit co-pay is in there too. Making dinner, feeding my kids, loading the dishwasher, switching the laundry, loading the kids in the car in time to run my middle son to basketball by 7pm, dropping my oldest at baseball at 8pm, hoping that the ride for my middle child comes through so I don’t have to drag my youngest back out to pick up my middle at 9pm, and then pick up my oldest at 10pm. Finally arriving home at 10:15. Those come in somewhere between 10-100 of the hardest things I’ve done in my life.
Let me not forget paying the mortgage that Wells Fargo refused to refinance for me because I didn’t have enough equity, and then raised the interest rate. Geez, that might almost rank up there in the top five hardest things!?
My son who graduates this year? Let’s talk college tuition shall we? Okay, let’s don’t.
Maintaining my own well-being? Well that doesn’t even get a priority.
Mitt Romney claimed an income of $21,700,000 in 2010 and $20,900,000 in 2011 on his income taxes. (source)
At his rate of income in 2011 he makes my entire YEARS salary in one day.
His wife, Ann, cannot relate to my economic issues. And it has NOTHING to do with the fact that she is a stay at home mom or politics.
And Ann, while I’d love to chat with you about the real economics of a working mom and would be honored to chill with you in one of your 15 homes, I’d prefer that you join me at my dinner table in my 1,600 s.f. home that is worth way less than it was when I bought it, but costs a whole lot more. But you’ll have to fly that private jet into my local regional airport because I don’t have the time, or the gas money, or the tire tread to drive to the airport you’d probably prefer to fly in to.
Disclosure: This post can be in reference to anyone that has a household income of $20,900,000, not just Ann, that claims to understand what the economics of a working mom are. I should also mention that my kids no longer go to three different schools, it’s two. And my oldest son drives now so he can help with getting to/from school. BUT? This is an added cost of an extra car, car insurance for a teenage boy, gas, tires, oil…..
{ 19 comments… read them below or add one }
Can ya hear that??? It’s me applauding.
Amen.
Thumbs up!!!!!!!
YES!!!!!!!!
Love your post. Doesn’t it go even beyond these politicians wives? How disconcerting is it that these career politicians, whom are so disconnected from the “real world”, are the ones making the policies and laws for the every day working individual?
Preach it, sister!
Amen! No one with that kind of money gets it unless they were flat broke first.
I have been a SAHM for all of my marriage. We started off below the poverty level and worked hard and did without so that I could stay home. I am not saying that working is wrong, but doing well is not wrong either. The statement made about Mrs. Romney was that she can’t have an opinion on the economy because she has never had a job. This is crazy. All moms, whether they stay home or work know much about the economy. The moms are the ones at the grocery store trying to figure out how to feed their families. It is an insult to women who make the decision to stay home that they must be too stupid to understand how the economy works.
I totally know how you feel. I’m also a single mom in the same boat, some days barely staying afloat!!! Thanks for saying it for all us hard working moms…
As a stay at home mom married to a doctor, I’ve never experienced the fatigue, frustration and just plain fear that must be a part of everyday life for the average single, working mom. Although I can sympathize and imagine what it must be like, I’ve never once lay awake wondering how the bills will be paid or the kids will get to school or soccer. I don’t take your “rant” as critical, just a fact that no one can really relate to any situation (in the true sense of the word relate) unless you’ve been there yourself. Unfortunately, politics is full of those who speak without really thinking about what they’re saying. I certainly don’t begrudge the Romneys anything they have but it would be a stretch to think she can really relate. I do not think, however, she meant to be disrespectful but when you are very far removed from a situation as she is, it’s nearly impossible to truly be objective.
Hear, hear! Oh my gosh, that long paragraph in the middle there….yeah, I totally get it.
At the end of the day, kiss your boys good night, pat yourself on the back for getting it all done and then get to sleep!….You have a long day tomorrow
From one single mom to another….I admire you!
Standing ovation!
It’s kind of like this: I cannot (and will not) ever pretend to understand what it is like to be the parent of a special needs kid. The most special needs attention my own kids ever had was a little bit of speech/articulation therapy. I do not know their lives, and would never presume to be able to relate.
Listen to them? Admire them? Help them? Sure.
Say I know where they’re coming from? Never.
Being a single mom is the toughest gig in life. With that said your rant on Ann Romney is entirely what is wrong with our country. You equate it to the haves and the have nots. He are a few things that Ann Romney has had that you according to your rant you have not- 1) breast cancer 2) Multiple Sclerosis. Maybe she hasnt had to have alot of concerns about finance which is a blessing to her. Maybe your blessings are that you havent had to worry about cancer or how you are going to have the energy to make it through the day because your body will not let you.
Sure if you look at everything through the prism of $$$ then her life seems out of touch from yours or mine for that matter (i drive 54 miles one way to work every day to provide for my family) but if you and the rest of us just paused for a moment and saw what we did have that others dont then our perspective might be improved.
As a nation we will not long survive this hatred for those that have $$$ versus those that dont. And if truth be told even the poorest $$$ wise of those in the US are almost infinitely better off than 90% of the entire worlds population. Sure you have a tough row to hoe and life may be hitting you a little bit harder than you might like and ex husbands are jerks . BUT your son is graduating college, you own a home even if it is hard to keep up the payment and Wells didnt refinance you, You have a job that provides for your family. Those are positives that so many people do not have.
You have done yeomans work and effort with what you have, congratulations. Be grateful for that and acknowledge that you have had the health blessings for yourself and your children that have helped you get by. That is your blessing in life, one that Ann Romney doesnt have.
Lesson is dont begrudge others what you feel you should have without understanding and acknowledging what it is that you have that others would wish they had.
Good luck in your pursuits and Kudos to your college age son on his graduation. One last comparison between you and Ann Romney. Her father never went to college, started life poor and got by on little for the majority of his life ( just as Mitt’s father) but their daughter and son went to college and those children have all done well. So you might be that first generation that has to suffer the most so that those that come after have it a bit easier than you and I do. That is the foundation of this country the desire for our children to do better than us. Again congrats on laying that foundation, as tiresome and grueling as it is, for your children and grandchildren.
I agree with you 100%. I have not had cancer, I do not have MS. And I do not represent myself or let others represent me in a way that would claim that I do have any experience with it or can relate in any way.
Your lesson is somewhat “lost” on me because if you are familiar with me and/or my blog at all you’ll know that I don’t complain about my situation. In fact, I KNOW that I am lucky to have what I do have and that so many more have less than I do. Just read my about page here. It’s also the reason I started this blog in the first place – to help others make the most of what they have. I’ve also talked about how I am sometimes grateful for my situation because it gives me the strength make my kids work for everything. I take them to volunteer with me so that they SEE and FEEL how lucky they are to have what they do have. We make monthly donations and last month we made a donation to a women/children center that takes in families that experience abuse. You can read that post here and here and see why I felt it was important that they take part in it.
And lastly, while I bitch about the fact that Wells Fargo won’t refinance and won’t work with me at all – I also take responsibility for my circumstance too.
YES. When I heard about this on the news last night, I turned to my husband and said that it’s a shame that comment was worded the way it was because the point is being completely missed. It’s become a mom vs. mom thing, not a have vs. have not, like you said.
I agree completely. I don’t understand all of the women who jumped to her defense; unless they make 20 million a year, too.
Kudos to you for tackling this issue– it is no doubt controversial, as you can see from the comments you’ve gotten already.
I am NOT a single mom, but I did always work while my kids were growing up. I would have loved the luxury to stay with them, but in order to give them a good start in life, we chose to both work. While I do not begrudge anyone their success, I must imagine that being a stay at home millionaire mom is much easier (having medical issues also is much harder if you do not have $$) than struggling to make ends meet with your family–and I think that is at the core of this issue, all of our politicians are wealthy— and THAT is a result of campaigns being bought and sold… no real change is going to happen until campaign reform is done and limits are set on what can be spent.
Wonderful Job – Great take on the life and worries of the single mom! Not politics – it is everyday life.
Great post! I am not a single mom, but I relate to every single one of the financial struggles you describe! (There are two of us, but I think we barely equal up to the kind of basic salary needed these days.)
I don’t think it’s a question whether or not Mrs. Romney worked or not, but the fact that they say they can relate … but they can’t. We all come from a different place. But if someone says they empathize (not just sympathize) but have never walked in those shoes, then they are just lying.